Nickelback and politics

 Person: Nickelback is like Steven Harper. They always win but no one seems to like them!

– Overheard in Toronto on the 501 streetcar

Hobo Style

Hobo to other hobo: Tacos man. I’m gonna fry that sh*t up under the bridge tonight - hobo style!

– Overheard in Toronto

Dad, is that you?

Very drunk man in his 30s, shabby clothes, holding beer can, approaches very well dressed executive type in early 60s - pinstriped suit, tie, white shirt, polished brogues, briefcase, silver hair.

Young man: SIR! You could be my Dad.
Executive: No, I don’t think so.
Young man (bows): Excuuuuse me, sir. I think you are my DAD. Just need some change…Hold this…
Executive (absently takes can): What are you doing? I’m not your father…
Young man: That’s riiiight!! Hold it. (leans over and messes up the perfect silver hair)
Executive (angrily): That’s enough!
Young man: Thorry sir…! Your too…tooo…well..dressed up for Dad.
Executive (calmly): Alright. Now please…
Young man: You look more like my DAD each…minute! Do one thing. Just one thing. Just one thing…One…
Executive: What is it?
Young man: My Dad was always barefoot when he drank. Never wore thooze. Now please…just take off those fancy thooze and socks… sit down on the….f.f.f.floor…And lose that necktie…
Executive: I am not taking off my socks and shoes and tie and I won’t lie down in a train station. And I don’t drink. Sorry. (gets up)
Young man: SIRRRR!
Executive (relents before he leaves): I hope you find your father..

– Overheard in Toronto at Union Station

Elderly Goths

20-somethings passing by a Goth Retro Night event: Let’s go check out the 40-year old goths!

– Overheard in Toronto

You’re on your own, kid

Couple arrive at a nightclub. The girl at the door asks for the cover charge but the guy is short on cash. The door lady summons a bouncer to take the guy to the green machine inside the club, instructing the girl to wait at the door with the another bouncer.

Bouncer to girl: He’s not coming back, you know.

– Overheard in Toronto at nightclub

Once upon a time

Guy sitting on the Queen Car: I used to be retarded, but I’m okay now.
Guy sitting next to him: I used to be a werewolf….

– Overheard in Toronto on the Queen streetcar

Less than clever

Girl student: If I fail, I’m just going to say I didn’t pass.
Boy student: Don’t you mean you’re going to say you didn’t complete it?
Girl: No, I’ll say I didn’t pass.
Boy: Isn’t that just a synonym for failing?

< <<< long pause >>>>

Boy: By the way, you have to chew that.
Girl: Oh! I thought it was a mint.
Boy: Ummmmm… no it’s gum.

– Overheard in Toronto

Wrong Place, Wrong Line

Girl in line at McDonald’s: Can I have a whopper please?

– Overheard in Toronto at the Scarborough Town Centre

As opposed to the fake kind

Twenty-something girl to little girl: It’s a REAL prince marrying a REAL princess and they’re going to live in a REAL palace.

– Overheard in Toronto near Yonge and College

Valentine’s Day 2011

Guy (quickly): I just had sex.
Girl (singing): I just had sex!

– Overheard in Toronto