Let Me See That Thong

Girl #1 (looking at friend’s iPod): You’ve got some good stuff on here…SISQO!?
Girl #2: Hey man, sometimes you just need a little thong song in your life.
Grandma at the table beside: Amen!
– Overheard in Tim Hortons

Tweedle-Stuck

Young girl to friend: On the bus, I was squashed between Tweedle-fat and Tweedle-sleepy.
– Overheard on Markham Road

What Exactly Did He Want To Do?

Teenage Girl to Older Man: We don’t have nearly enough oranges for what you want to do.
– Overheard on #85 Sheppard Bus

But I Was So Sure

Older woman: Oh sorry. Here take my seat. I didn’t notice you were pregnant.
Young lady: No. I’m not.
Older woman: No, it’s okay. Go ahead and sit.
Young lady: No I’m not!
Older woman: You’re joking…
Young lady: You can sit back down.
Older woman: Oh… Well… Maybe it’s just all those layers, eh.
– Overheard on #133 Neilson Bus

Maybe She Will

Gossiping Guy: The guy is so cheap. He set up his cell phone so that he can make calls but he cannot receive any.
Co-worker: What happens with important calls? Suppose someone needed to get in touch with him about work?
Guy: Yeah… He came up to me one time and was telling me how he went […]

Cellphone Psychology

Woman on cell phone: Yes, someone wants to be needed. Someone needs to be loved!
– Overheard at Victoria Park & Ellesmere

Drastic Measures

Bus driver: Children? Yes I have two, but they’re expensive!
Woman: Expensive? Well, yes, but they’re worth it.
Bus driver: No man! I tell you, I cut my tubes when I was twenty five. Woke up one morning and went down to the place and got it done.
Woman: At twenty five?!
Bus driver: Yes. You know how they […]