Teenager with baby: You know she doesn’t cry when I feed her with the bottle anymore.
Older woman: So it was only last week that she was crying then?
Teenager: Yes.
Older woman: Maybe she was just going through some stressful times but thank God it’s over now.
– Overheard at a family gathering

Student (pointedly checking watch): Are you really just having lunch now?
Friend: Yes. I wasn’t hungry at 12:30.
Student: Not hungry!
Friend: Well, no. I ate breakfast this morning.
Student: Breakfast! Nine hours ago you mean.
Friend (defensively): I’m still going to eat dinner when I get home.
Student: That’s because that’s dinner! This was suppose to have been lunch.
*Silence for […]