Rice It Up

Woman (to bus driver) : Excuse me sir, did we pass Bathurst and Lawrence yet?
Bus driver: Yes Ma’am, you should’ve paid attention. We passed it 15 minutes ago.
Woman: Darn. And I really wanted to buy some rice.
Bus driver: Well, there’s a NoFrills at the next stop.
Woman: Yes, but they don’t have […]

Paid Compliment

Young woman #1(intentionally loud enough for the bus driver to hear): Hey, the bus driver’s kinda cute.
Young woman #2: Oh, yeah.
*Bus driver turns around to look at them, smiles*
Young woman #1(in a hushed voice): Do you think he’s on commission, or should I try asking him out?
– Overheard on the #52 Lawrence […]

Walking in at the wrong moments…

Boy (to friend nearby): We went camping over the weekend. A mosquito bit me during the night. The huuugest bite swelled up…
*A girl enters class, late by a few minutes*
Boy (still talking to friend): …I woke up in the morning and it was huge. Like, it was 2 inches big! The day after, […]

Band Practice?

*It was rush hour on an express bus that only stops twice and this dude kept continually ringing the bell….over and over, pissing off everyone on the crowded bus till suddenly the bus driver comes on the intercom*
Bus driver: Dude, if you want to ring the f***ing bell, join your f***ing school’s band!
– Overheard on […]

Public Retard

*Teenagers talking loudly at the back of the bus *
Girl: My brother is so retarded… *she continues talking about him in that way*
Bus driver on speaker: On a scale of 1 to 10, how retarded is he?
– Overheard on the #67 Pharmacy bus

Another Crazy Outburst

Subway conductor: Hello ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard. The next station is Wilson.
*silence for a moment*
Homeless man: BAHAHAHAHAHA!! *walks to other side of train*
Preppy girl: I don’t get the joke.
Her friend: Shh…
– Overheard at Downsview Station

Hippo…what?

Little Boy’s Voice:….then meow like a cat.
Little Girl’s Voice: No! I’m bored with being the cat!
Little Boy’s Voice: So can I be the cat now?
Little Girl’s Voice: NO! You have to be the hippomatotamus.
– Overheard through a window