street dis!
Bum: Hey! Don’t you belong on Queen Street!!?
Hipster: Hey! Don’t you belong in jail!!?
– Overheard in Toronto at Yonge and College
Prediction has downfalls
girl texting: I wanted to type ‘pussy’ but it came out as ‘puppy’
– Overheard in Toronto
Locations
dude in line for an exam: Etobicoke, yea its in ’sauga.
– Overheard in Toronto at Seneca College
…and that means?
Girl studying for exam: Hinduism, I’m gonna rape you up the ass.
– Overheard in Toronto at the University of Toronto (Scarborough)
Clear Priorities
Guy, yelling down College to another guy talking to a girl: Yo man, get off that b*tch and come get Burger King.
– Overheard in Toronto at College and Spadina
Baguette anyone?
Guy #1: What’s a European lapdance?
Guy #2: Maybe she holds a French bread while doing it.
– Overheard in Toronto at a Chip Shop
Life’s little pleasures
Crackhead: “I can’t wait to sh*t my pants!”
– Overheard in Toronto at College and Bathurst
Never mix business with…
Guy: You know, one day he said to me, “Cocaine is ruining our friendship.”
Girl: You used to do it together?
Guy: We used to sell it together.
– Overheard in Toronto at College and Spadina
Smugness will only get you so far
Girl, smugly: Your fly is open.
Guy, irritated: Good, less work for you.
– Overheard in Toronto on the TTC bus #196
Nobody Likes To Go Alone
Guy #1: Hey man, you want to go tickle the ivory’s?
Guy #2: Oh uh. No… I don’t have to go.
Guy #1: What? Um. It means play piano, man.
Guy #2: Oh… sure, then.
– Overheard in Toronto at a house party
