Elderly Goths

20-somethings passing by a Goth Retro Night event: Let’s go check out the 40-year old goths!
– Overheard in Toronto

Bikinis: The Great Debate

Random Dude #1 (RD1): Moroccan French Cuisine, eh? That sounds delicious.
Random Dude #2 (RD2): You know, you’re not able to wear a bikini on the beach in Morocco?
RD1: What? Get out?
RD2: Yep. Fully clothed. They’re Muslim, you know. Chicks can’t wear a bikini.
RD1: No dude. You’re thinking of the Middle East. Do you even know […]

Home Necessities

Chinese Woman points at statue: Buddha!
Chinese Man: No! No more!
Chinese Woman: But we NEED a Buddha!
– Overheard in Toronto at a Queen St. W furniture store

Happy Pride!

Kid: Mom. What’s Pride?
Mom: It’s a celebration of urban living.
– Overheard in Toronto at Wellesley Station

So it’s not natural then?

Guy to two girls: Hey! Do you like pizza? Wanna go get a slice?
Girl (laughing): No, we can’t eat. We gotta stay skinny.
– Overheard in Toronto at College and Dufferin

The key to success

Teenage boy: There’s a homeless guy by my house and every time I pass him I give him change. ‘Cuz he looks like Chris Rock, and you know, I can’t say no to Chris Rock.
– Overheard in Toronto on the TTC Westbound train

All The Difference

Student (pointedly checking watch): Are you really just having lunch now?
Friend: Yes. I wasn’t hungry at 12:30.
Student: Not hungry!
Friend: Well, no. I ate breakfast this morning.
Student: Breakfast! Nine hours ago you mean.
Friend (defensively): I’m still going to eat dinner when I get home.
Student: That’s because that’s dinner! This was suppose to have been lunch.
*Silence for […]

A player will always find a way to play

Chinese guy in halting English: What is your best memory since you arrive in Canada?
Japanese girl in similar halting fashion: My best memory was my friend birthday. I make him card and we give him surprise party. I like it very much.
Chinese guy: You know what is my best memory?
Japanese girl: […]

Because only white people act crazy

Girl #1 to giggling Girl #2: What’s up with you? Are you drunk?
Girl #3: No, she’s just white.
– Overheard on #134 Progress bus

Torontines in a Tin

Bus driver: Everyone please exit through the back doors once we arrive at the stops. Thank you.
Man with thick Russian accent: There is too many damn people in this country.
Bus driver: Could everyone please move towards the back to allow other passengers to enter the bus. Move towards the back. Thank you.
Man with thick Russian […]