Hobo Style

Hobo to other hobo: Tacos man. I’m gonna fry that sh*t up under the bridge tonight - hobo style!
– Overheard in Toronto

Less than clever

Girl student: If I fail, I’m just going to say I didn’t pass.
Boy student: Don’t you mean you’re going to say you didn’t complete it?
Girl: No, I’ll say I didn’t pass.
Boy: Isn’t that just a synonym for failing?
< <<< long pause >>>>
Boy: By the way, you have to chew that.
Girl: Oh! I thought it was […]

And under that?

Woman: What’s under your socks?
Little daughter: Toes!
Woman: What’s under your hair?
Little daughter: Ummm. My head!
Woman: What’s under your shirt?
Little daughter: My tummy!
Woman: What’s under your nails?
Little daughter: Dirt!
– Overheard in Toronto

Hostage?

Woman: I fed and gave water to (insert name here).
Man: Good.
Woman: I had to because he threatened to cancel my Facebook account.
– Overheard in Toronto on a streetcar

That’s all we need next

* Cold, windy, overcast, day. Bus pulls up to a stop with a crowd of waiting people, all shuffling to get in. *

Bus driver shouts: COME ON! MOVE FASTER! MOVE FASTER SO WE CAN GO!
Guy flashing his metropass: Shhhhh! You’ll make it rain.
– Overheard in Toronto in a bus at the Brimley stop

The place to be

Little girl: Where were you, mommy?
Mother: I left to get you some cookies and a slice of cake.
Little girl: You went to church?!
– Overheard in Toronto at Fairview Mall

Public Bonds

Woman on cellphone, smiling: Wait, but I don’t have handcuffs. I don’t have any handcuffs. Tomorrow? Yeah.
- Overheard in Toronto in the Food Court in Scarborough Town Centre

Home Necessities

Chinese Woman points at statue: Buddha!
Chinese Man: No! No more!
Chinese Woman: But we NEED a Buddha!
– Overheard in Toronto at a Queen St. W furniture store

Happy Pride!

Kid: Mom. What’s Pride?
Mom: It’s a celebration of urban living.
– Overheard in Toronto at Wellesley Station

The key to success

Teenage boy: There’s a homeless guy by my house and every time I pass him I give him change. ‘Cuz he looks like Chris Rock, and you know, I can’t say no to Chris Rock.
– Overheard in Toronto on the TTC Westbound train