Teenage boy: There’s a homeless guy by my house and every time I pass him I give him change. ‘Cuz he looks like Chris Rock, and you know, I can’t say no to Chris Rock.
– Overheard in Toronto

Bum: Hey! Don’t you belong on Queen Street!!?
Hipster: Hey! Don’t you belong in jail!!?

– Overheard in Toronto at Yonge and College

dude in line for an exam: Etobicoke, yea its in ’sauga.
– Overheard in Toronto at Seneca College

Girl studying for exam: Hinduism, I’m gonna rape you up the ass.
– Overheard in Toronto at the University of Toronto (Scarborough)

Guy, yelling down College to another guy talking to a girl: Yo man, get off that b*tch and come get Burger King.
– Overheard in Toronto at College and Spadina

Crackhead: “I can’t wait to sh*t my pants!”
– Overheard in Toronto at College and Bathurst

Guy #1: Hey man, you want to go tickle the ivory’s?
Guy #2: Oh uh. No… I don’t have to go.
Guy #1: What? Um. It means play piano, man.
Guy #2: Oh… sure, then.
– Overheard in Toronto at a house party

cleaning lady (to other cleaning lady): My vacuum cleaner sounds like a bomb. I’m kind of scared it’s going to blow up.
– Overheard in Toronto in residence at the University of Toronto

*A woman got skirt stuck in between the subway doors and was trying to pry the door open to get it unstuck.*
another female passenger: If you cause this subway to be out of service, I’m going to b*tch slap you!
– Overheard in Toronto on the subway between Christie and Bathurst

girl talking loudly on phone: I don’t have anyone to hang out with anymore. All my boys are gone. They’re all in prison.
– Overheard in Toronto in Malvern