A Wasted Life

Belligerent caterer to wife: I’m wasting my whole life making coleslaw!
– Overheard in Toronto in front of a catering store

Tick Tick Tick

cleaning lady (to other cleaning lady): My vacuum cleaner sounds like a bomb. I’m kind of scared it’s going to blow up.
– Overheard in Toronto in residence at the University of Toronto

His uh What Now

*While walking by the boss’ office*
Boss: Michael, do you want to just put your John-Ray on here?
- Overheard In the Office

Fluctuations

Company president to Supervisor: It’s nice that everything has settled now. Because of the GST changes last week the prices were going up and down like toilet seats.
– Overheard at Work

Fire vs. Water

Guy: I was sitting at my desk and he comes over and throws some water on me. So you know what I did?
Girl: What?
Guy: I went and took up my cup of hot coffee, sneaked up behind him and threw some of the coffee on his back.
Girl: !
Guy: Yeah, my fire […]

Maybe She Will

Gossiping Guy: The guy is so cheap. He set up his cell phone so that he can make calls but he cannot receive any.
Co-worker: What happens with important calls? Suppose someone needed to get in touch with him about work?
Guy: Yeah… He came up to me one time and was telling me how he went […]