Strange Dreams

Young Woman: I keep having dreams about frisbees!

– Overheard in Toronto

And under that?

Woman: What’s under your socks?
Little daughter: Toes!
Woman: What’s under your hair?
Little daughter: Ummm. My head!
Woman: What’s under your shirt?
Little daughter: My tummy!
Woman: What’s under your nails?
Little daughter: Dirt!

– Overheard in Toronto

Bikinis: The Great Debate

Random Dude #1 (RD1): Moroccan French Cuisine, eh? That sounds delicious.
Random Dude #2 (RD2): You know, you’re not able to wear a bikini on the beach in Morocco?
RD1: What? Get out?
RD2: Yep. Fully clothed. They’re Muslim, you know. Chicks can’t wear a bikini.
RD1: No dude. You’re thinking of the Middle East. Do you even know where Morocco is?
RD2: Of course I do. It’s in Africa.
RD1: They’re not Muslim at all. They can wear bikinis. They gotta! It’s hot in that country.
RD2: It’s true, man.
RD1: I think you’re thinking of Monaco.

– Overheard in Toronto outside the Dogs Bollocks at Queen and Manning

Hostage?

Woman: I fed and gave water to (insert name here).
Man: Good.
Woman: I had to because he threatened to cancel my Facebook account.

– Overheard in Toronto on a streetcar

That’s all we need next

* Cold, windy, overcast, day. Bus pulls up to a stop with a crowd of waiting people, all shuffling to get in. *

Bus driver shouts: COME ON! MOVE FASTER! MOVE FASTER SO WE CAN GO!
Guy flashing his metropass: Shhhhh! You’ll make it rain.

– Overheard in Toronto in a bus at the Brimley stop

The place to be

Little girl: Where were you, mommy?
Mother: I left to get you some cookies and a slice of cake.
Little girl: You went to church?!

– Overheard in Toronto at Fairview Mall

Public Bonds

Woman on cellphone, smiling: Wait, but I don’t have handcuffs. I don’t have any handcuffs. Tomorrow? Yeah.

- Overheard in Toronto in the Food Court in Scarborough Town Centre

Home Necessities

Chinese Woman points at statue: Buddha!

Chinese Man: No! No more!

Chinese Woman: But we NEED a Buddha!

– Overheard in Toronto at a Queen St. W furniture store

Happy Pride!

Kid: Mom. What’s Pride?

Mom: It’s a celebration of urban living.

– Overheard in Toronto at Wellesley Station

So it’s not natural then?

Guy to two girls: Hey! Do you like pizza? Wanna go get a slice?

Girl (laughing): No, we can’t eat. We gotta stay skinny.

– Overheard in Toronto at College and Dufferin